• Reilly Garrett

Safe Sex Issue: Fucking in the Year of Coronavirus


Thanks to Rona, 2020 has been a rough year for love. With thousands of new infections each day, some folks are wondering: can we even still fuck? The answer is a resounding…. maybe? Whether you decide to brave the elements or self-quarantine for a while, here’s a few tips to keep your dating life alive:


  • Apps. Get active on apps like Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid…… cause we’re only online-dating now

  • Webcam. Alternatively, it might be a good time to get involved with financial-domming. Or possibly web-camming? Anything to keep you from actually interacting with live human beings. Plus, you can use the extra cash to order delivery for all your meals.

  • Alcohol. Those vodka-cranberries you’d drink out on a date? Skip the cranberry and use vodka to make a DIY hand sanitizer. Then maybe have a shot of vodka anyway, because quarantine can be lonely.

  • Namaste. If you must go outside and interact with others, embrace the elbow bump. Or the Japanese bow. Or the plain ol' Namaste. But for the love of god, don’t actually embrace.

  • Protection first! Be sure to use condoms! Try the new Magnum XXXL COVID-19 Edition. Spoiler alert: it's just a hazmat suit.

  • Latex. Latex gloves are for more than just fisting! Keep them in your bag so you don’t have to touch anything or anyone.

  • Wash your hands. Before your date. And after your date. And a few times during your date. In fact, cancel your date and stay home to wash your hands.